Fear

Such a simple word yet one with meaning and depth. Fear is a liar. Fear will tell you you’re not good enough and stop you right in your tracks. It is something we try to keep out our lives yet something that easily comes into our life when we aren’t paying attention. You are not your past mistakes.

Why do we give into fear so easily? Once we knowledge it, it latches on like a leach. So how do we keep it away when it is so unwanted?

Be happy. Be blessed.

Today is a good day to be alive so we should be living it as such. Dont let fear steal your happiness!

Remember that you are good enough.

Remember you are beautiful.

Remember you are wanted.

Do not let fear ruin your life. You have come to far to give into it.

Stresses in Life

Happy Saturday everyone!

As I woke up today I felt nothing but happiness. Although my Lupus hasn’t been agreeing with me lately, I still feel happy and blessed. How we start our day is usually how we end our day. Being negative as soon as we wake up in the morning will only lead to our demise.

Our lives are never perfect. We have stress, work, school, family, and children to worry about it. Yes, I get it we have so much on our plate. But take a moment and just breathe. Take a moment for you in your busy day. Sometimes we forgot (even myself) to take a step back and decompress. We get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we forget to realize how blessed we truly are. 

When we feel stress mounting up that’s the sign that we’ve gone too far. So how do we decompress when we have so much going on? Read a book, go out for a walk, meditate, or even just take a longer way home and listen to your favorite music. Our lives will always have some type of stress. It’s how we deal with it that determines our future. 🌸

 

Hump day thoughts

Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit back and actually think about how far your life has come? Where you used to be and where you are now? That’s where I am today.

Two years ago I was in a marriage that involved domestic violence, both verbal and physical abuse. At that time I thought I had no way out and that this was always going to be my life, to live in fear. I forgot what life was and how to live. At times I didn’t want to live just because it was painful. I was lost and confused about how I got to this point in my life. It lasted from 2010 to the time I had the courage and strength to leave.

Last year I had the courage to leave my ex husband and ended up at my mothers front door. Crying my eyes out, not knowing what to do. My temporary stay turned into me staying in Texas long term. Finding myself has harder than I thought it was going to be. I still find out new things about myself daily, it’s a never ending learning experience. The divorce was painful, nothing about it was easy. The emotions that get brought up during those six months was walking through a dream you can’t wake up from. His surprise visits trying, the emails, and continuous contact was hell served on a silver platter. Yet, I never backed down and I never went back.

Present day, my life is simply blessed. Do the memories every truly fade away? no they don’t. Instead of scars they are lessons for me. My past can never be changed so I have learned to embrace it and help others find their way. My life is nothing less than beautiful. The man in my life has been a blessing in more ways than one. I’m closer to my family. I have finally learned how to live and live for me. 

So I tell you this story not for sympathy but for strength. Have the courage to live the life you dreamt of. Have the strength to claw your way out of hell and back into the light. We all have the power to choose how we life our life. So why not choose to be happy and enjoy what God has given us?

Circle of Life

So something happened today that I couldn’t help but share with you. Have you ever been disappointed at joy that felt like it was stolen from you? Like it was turn from you when you wished for it so? 

This happened to me today. I thought for the better half of October that there was a possibility that I could be pregnant. The thought of it for my boyfriend and I brought us nothing but joy. So why not be excited about the thought of a little blessing. To my dismay, we aren’t. I felt angry, sad, and just about every other emotion out there you could think of. Why? Why was that little piece of joy taken from us? I was at a point where I didn’t want to think and I may never understand how my broken heart is apart of God’s plan. 

So instead of feeding into the emotions too much I had to go outside and just breathe and listen. Listen to the quiet, so the quiet can calm my sadness and calm my heart. I now understand that it is simply not our time yet. Patience isn’t my strong suit in life but I know I can’t rush this in our life. I don’t blame myself, my love, or God. 

Waiting for that positive sign on a pregnancy test can be the most heartbreaking feeling a woman can go through. The longest 30 seconds of a wait, the most excitement you will ever feel, or the most sadness you may experience. When you try and try and try with no results happening it can lead you to a bottomless pit. As I tear up from writing this I also feel strength from it. I just have to remember you’re God and I am not. 

So I tell you this, don’t let the results get you down. When that positive sign happens to show up, embrace that blessing and share that with your spouse. If the results aren’t positive do not let that weaken your faith. Keep the faith. Keep the love between your spouse going. Keep hope in your heart.

Keep trying and always know you’re not alone in this journey. 

Monday Thought’s

As the dreaded Monday’s are upon us yet again, I got to thinking (as I always do). Why do we tend to think that Monday’s are the worst? We portray Monday as though it was Friday the 13th week after week. I can’t be the only one who has heard, “It’s Monday” when things don’t  go our way. Again, I’m guilty of this at times!

The positivity we have carrying the other six days out the week should be changed to seven. So how do we get out of this slump you ask? 

1) We can remember our blessings and be humbled by it, let our hearts grow two inches bigger

OR 

2) Feel like Grinch who stole Christmas

We are ultimately in control of what we feel and how we display it to others. We can feed into the negativity or instead be the sunshine someone may need in their lives. No one and I mean no one can make us feel anything or think disheartening thoughts. It took me a LONG time to figure that out, call me stubborn in my ways as most of us are. Yet, when we think about the inconveniences in our lives, are they really inconveniences?

We have to go to work on Monday’s. In reality you are blessed as some can’t find work.

Balancing life, work life, our children, and spouse. We have a loving family and have love to come home to.

Count your rainbows 🙂