You Had a Setback, But Are You Ready For Your Setup??

We’ve all been there, when we lose all hope because we keep getting knocked down. What we want doesn’t happen when *we* expect it to. Life happens to put a dark rain cloud over our head that we can’t seem to shake. In my short life I have learned that when all hope is lost, there’s only one person I can turn to. It’s during these times that you’ll also find out who your true friends are and who really has your back. Our expectations on how our life should be is what creates the storm inside of us. 

We tend to worry about the things we lost in life whether it is physical items or memories from the past. Instead of worrying about the things we’ve may have lost, rejoice the biggest blessing you have, LIFE!

Your phone can be replaced

Personal items can be replaced

The house can be rebuilt

You have one life and one life only, that is your superpower during tough times.

You may not see it now but you are so blessed. We all go through tough times, life just happens that way. How we get through the storm is what truly matters. Storms never last forever, sail with faith and get through it without harm.

When it becomes to hard to stand, kneel.

Letting go of What I Thought I Wanted

When we’re small we always think of what we want our lives to be like. Most of us wanted to be famous, a dancer, an astronaut, or even just rich. When we became adults those plans seem to change so drastically. 

I always expected that my first marriage would be my last marriage. Yet, that didn’t happen.

I expected to be in a loving marriage but instead was the complete opposite.

I have learned that what we thought we wanted sometimes won’t happen. That life isn’t a fairytale that we see in the Disney movies. Yet, I have also learned that it’s ok when life doesn’t go your way. What I thought I wanted in life has now changed to just living in the moment. When I presisited to make me life be a certain way it added so much stress and disappointment when it didn’t become reality. What I ended up needing in my life shined through. What I have now in life is what I always needed and wanted. How blessed our lives are when we realize this aspect ❤

 

Being Alone

One thing I have always noticed is that some of us are afraid to be alone. Afraid to grow old and be alone. Afraid to come home to empty house. Afraid of living life alone. Most times we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. We tend to overthink every aspect of our lives and we end up being our own worst enemies. As a society we tend to think of it as them against us but what about when it’s us vs. ourselves. 

Why are we afraid to be alone with ourselves?

Being alone can bring us more strength then being with others at our side. We find our weakness but most importantly we find our strengths.  Find that silent place and listen. Do not argue with yourself. Do not think about what still has to be done. Be one with mature. Be one with Earth.

This is where we find our inner peace. This is where we find the power we thought we lost but most importantly this is where we heal. Without silence we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds. Getting over our fear of being alone is the first step of find our own strength. There is no shame or sadness to come from being alone.

Just find yourself ❤

Patience in all Things

Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor. 

Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.

Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else. 

Joy and Happiness

Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.

It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.

I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.

Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂

Fears

Why does it seem that our fears take hold of our life? Fear of letting go. Fear of the future. Fear of the present. It’s an emotion that most won’t talk about simply because it shows weakness. Yet, when we don’t talk about it, it takes over our lives.

Living in fear is something I was used to being a domestic violence survivor. It is definitely not a way to live your life. Not only does it effect your life it also effects those around you. It shows in what you do and say.

Let us not be overcome by fear but instead live each day with happiness. Let us talk about our weaknesses and sadness without thinking what society may think of us. Don’t let fears hold you back, you are worth every inch of happiness in this world. Embrace it 🙂

Mind Over Matter

Having Lupus has to be one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Some days I have all the energy in the world. Other days I can’t even leave my bed. It’s been a learning curve for me daily, no day is ever the same. 

Sometimes finding the will power to continue on is hard. I’d be lying if I said I was strong 100% of time. I feel like this goes for anything else in life. 

Giving up seems great and all until you think about the people who love and depend on you. That is the core of what keeps us going. Knowing we aren’t alone. Will the pain cease to exist? Will it disappear one day like it never happened? Probably not but there are good things that come from it.

Good things from Lupus? Yes, I know hard to believe but there is. You get to understand your body and inner being more. Seeing friends and loved ones there for you willing to help at any time. You enjoy life more because tomorrow is never promised.

Don’t let the fear of tomorrow ruin your day. Find the strength in each day to continue. Take the time and pray. Giving up should never be an option. When you feel like giving up lean on those around you, love will keep you going.

Self-Love

As I watch youtube, facebook, and any other social media it’s come to my attention lately of women doing outrageous lifestyle changes to “fit in” with society. We look at magazines and see flawless women on every cover. No imperfections, looking perfect. I think we all go through a stage when we just want to fit into what society wants us to look like. Being a certain size. Having flawless skin. The perfect hair even. I went through that stage and eventually grew out of it. During that part of my life I felt everything but happy. It was hard just to fit in. Being bi-racial I couldn’t just pick a “group” to hang out with. 

Over time we learn to hate our imperfections and how to hide them as much as possible. We learn to hate ourselves instead of loving ourselves and it’s a long way back to self love once you break down your self down that far. 

Love your imperfections. Love who you are. Love yourself. Nothing and no one in this lifetime can take that from you. There is only one of you that is your superpower. Do not hide what makes you, you. You are perfect in your own right. You may not look like a Victoria Secret model but that’s ok. You may not have the flawless skin or hair and again that’s ok. You are unique and have your own qualities you bring to the world. As long as you love yourself others will fall in love with that too. Show others how amazing they already are, bring them up don’t break them down. Self love will always be the best love. 

The Future, Don’t Stress

The more I think about the future the more excited I get about it. Sometimes the future can scare us, give us anxiety, or give us joy. Sometimes it can do all of the above. I have had a habit of thinking of the negative that can happen instead of the good. It’s always been a habit of mine, some of my life events just encouraged that aspect of my life to stay longer than it should. With graduation closing on in I have only thinking of the positive things to come and for once I haven’t second guessed myself by it. There is always something positive to look forward to. We have to find the rainbow between the storms. It may not always be easy but even the lightning can guide us. Seek happiness when thinking of the future. You never truly know the blessings coming your way. 

When is Enough, Actually Enough?

I have come to notice that I have a problem of over extending myself. Whether it’s from college, life, and work. We tend to over extend ourselves until we are 100% stressed out and at our wits end. Why do we do so much until we’re on empty? I know I’m not the only one on this boat.

Having Lupus makes it much harder because stress just tears down my body. I tend to break out, have exhaustion, panic attacks etc. Stress is just killer for me among other things.  So how do we destress from life? How do you relax during a busy week? Is there really a way not to stress about life in general? Those seem to be the million dollar questions we’re all seeking and yet the answer is not a simple yes or no. Our actions can calm the storm or we can add to the thunder and destruction. 

Overly stressing about stress because I’m stressed is my problem. What I’ve been doing lately is mediating, using aromatherapy oils in a diffuser, and reading. Meditating seems to help calm my mind and bring silence to the chaos around me. Focusing on peace, being one with yourself, being one with the world around you. It bring me back down to earth and gets me ready for the day. Aromatherapy oils are simply amazing. Since i’ve been diffusing them nightly, I sleep better and I can find peace much quicker. Reading just takes you to another world. It can help you forget what is happening around you while still calming your mind and body.

I share these little tips so they can help you as much as they’ve helped me. We tend to have flare ups because we hit a bump along the way and forget to destress. They are simply learning curves on what and what not to do. We are human. We make mistakes. We can get through anything if we have enough courage to. So relax, we have one life don’t live it stressing it all away.