Being diagnosed with Lupus for two years has made me still for the first time in my life. We all do it. We go, go, and go without a second thought it’s just how life is. I never once thought of myself I always put myself on the back burner because there were other things to worry about first. I never truly established who I am, truly. It seems calm at first like the morning sea yet can turn into a turbulent storm. The quote ” Not all who are wandering, are lost” rings true for me. I have wandered on my own path more in the past 2 years after being divorced than any other time of my life.
When I feel as though I’m on the right track I get diverted onto a new path I never knew. It has to be themes scariest feeling at the age of 27 of just now discovering who you are, why you are the way you are, and accepting it all. There are times (like now) that my lupus has me sit and stay put. This is when the mind wanders and I have time to think. Time to do me. Time to figure out my next step in life. Lupus should have never been the reason for this new discovery and journey in my life, but it was. The pain, illness, and everything in between brought me to who I am today. I was forced to center myself, to take care of myself.
This is when I rediscover new things about myself and how important it is not to be yourself last. You have to come first in all that you do day after day. You are just as important as anything else in this world. You matter.
Wander as far as it will take you, enjoy the journey.
We’ve all been there, when we lose all hope because we keep getting knocked down. What we want doesn’t happen when *we* expect it to. Life happens to put a dark rain cloud over our head that we can’t seem to shake. In my short life I have learned that when all hope is lost, there’s only one person I can turn to. It’s during these times that you’ll also find out who your true friends are and who really has your back. Our expectations on how our life should be is what creates the storm inside of us.
We tend to worry about the things we lost in life whether it is physical items or memories from the past. Instead of worrying about the things we’ve may have lost, rejoice the biggest blessing you have, LIFE!
Your phone can be replaced
Personal items can be replaced
The house can be rebuilt
You have one life and one life only, that is your superpower during tough times.
You may not see it now but you are so blessed. We all go through tough times, life just happens that way. How we get through the storm is what truly matters. Storms never last forever, sail with faith and get through it without harm.
When it becomes to hard to stand, kneel.
When we’re small we always think of what we want our lives to be like. Most of us wanted to be famous, a dancer, an astronaut, or even just rich. When we became adults those plans seem to change so drastically.
I always expected that my first marriage would be my last marriage. Yet, that didn’t happen.
I expected to be in a loving marriage but instead was the complete opposite.
I have learned that what we thought we wanted sometimes won’t happen. That life isn’t a fairytale that we see in the Disney movies. Yet, I have also learned that it’s ok when life doesn’t go your way. What I thought I wanted in life has now changed to just living in the moment. When I presisited to make me life be a certain way it added so much stress and disappointment when it didn’t become reality. What I ended up needing in my life shined through. What I have now in life is what I always needed and wanted. How blessed our lives are when we realize this aspect ❤
One thing I have always noticed is that some of us are afraid to be alone. Afraid to grow old and be alone. Afraid to come home to empty house. Afraid of living life alone. Most times we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. We tend to overthink every aspect of our lives and we end up being our own worst enemies. As a society we tend to think of it as them against us but what about when it’s us vs. ourselves.
Why are we afraid to be alone with ourselves?
Being alone can bring us more strength then being with others at our side. We find our weakness but most importantly we find our strengths. Find that silent place and listen. Do not argue with yourself. Do not think about what still has to be done. Be one with mature. Be one with Earth.
This is where we find our inner peace. This is where we find the power we thought we lost but most importantly this is where we heal. Without silence we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds. Getting over our fear of being alone is the first step of find our own strength. There is no shame or sadness to come from being alone.
Just find yourself ❤
Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor.
Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.
Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else.
Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.
It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.
I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.
Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂
Why does it seem that our fears take hold of our life? Fear of letting go. Fear of the future. Fear of the present. It’s an emotion that most won’t talk about simply because it shows weakness. Yet, when we don’t talk about it, it takes over our lives.
Living in fear is something I was used to being a domestic violence survivor. It is definitely not a way to live your life. Not only does it effect your life it also effects those around you. It shows in what you do and say.
Let us not be overcome by fear but instead live each day with happiness. Let us talk about our weaknesses and sadness without thinking what society may think of us. Don’t let fears hold you back, you are worth every inch of happiness in this world. Embrace it 🙂