Lately, I’ve been thinking about how this website came to be and what brought me to this point in my life to have so much courage to speak out. It’s hard for me to get raw and let others see in, it’s always been difficult.Yet, for this post it’s needed and also needed for me. So grab a cup of tea or something stronger we both might need it.
Lighthouses have always been a magnet for me this my divorce and moments following up to it. I felt peace I’ve never felt before when looking at them. It was like it was calling me home (sounds silly but that was the vibe it sent to me). They were around when I was going through my divorce. It was there through the aftermath and through the darkness. Lighthouses have a way of calling us home, showing us the way back. It showed me the way back to where I needed to be. Lighthouse Survivors came to me almost instantly.
Recently on vacation our hotel room faced the ocean and yes you guessed it, there was a lighthouse within view. It almost felt like it was meant to be. At night I would see the lights go off in the distance and darkness yet tranquil ocean within its midst. It had to be one of the most tranquil feelings I’ve ever felt yet scariest. In the past 3 years I thought I forgave and let go of my past. The abuse, the pain, the darkness, everything! But when I looked out at night I felt something different. So one of the nights I was there I walked out to the ocean on my own. I sat on the beach and looked out to the lighthouse, every emotion possible came over me. I finally let everything go. I felt sadness, anger, grief, peace, and everything else under the moon that night. I spent over an hour crying, praying, and just being still. Every night after that I walked the beach at night just so I could be close to the lighthouse. I felt peace I have never felt before, it was like a new beginning… like I was reborn again. The ocean was and forever will be my home.
Whether you are a survivor of domestic violence, substance abuse, suicide, cancer, or just getting the strength to continue another day. Let me tell you truly that you are not alone. The darkness does not stay forever, the darker the storm the brighter the rainbow will be. Do not give not matter how hard it may be to continue. Abuse of any kind is a scar we will always carry with us but let it be a reminder of how far your have come and what you have survived. The one thing I have learned through it all, is that the darkest of nights produce the brightest stars. Do not fear the dark.
Be brighter than the fire that surrounds you.
Look for your lighthouse ❤
Love is always described as the best thing on Earth but also can be described as the most painful experience. We have all been through that everlasting love that we thought would last forever. I sure did go through one heck of a fairytale yet after the breakup occurs we say to ourselves ” what the heck was I thinking”. While other relationships we thought would be our last because the bond was so strong but reality hit us without knowing or even a warning.
I have been through it all. The relationship to the heartbreak. The marriage to the divorce. Both were just as painful as the previous heartbreaks. Yet, we put the pieces of our heart back together. Piece by piece, cutting our selves along the way as we piece ourselves back together. Not all love stories end in heart break but we have all experienced at least one painful experience if not multiple.
Why do we piece ourselves back together after heartbreak and go in search of love again? I asked myself this when I was going through my divorce two years ago. I told myself I was not going to get into another serious relationship for as long as I could. The universe something else planned for me and love came knocking on my door again. As much as I tried to nail the door shut for as long as I could, I opened it. It was such a scary move for me, taking that chance on love once again. I took the chance and a year later we’re still together.
Love should be experienced in our lifetime. Sharing that feeling with someone who truly loves you is a beautiful thing. Love should not be feared but embraced with everything we have. Love is strong so when we love, we love hard. We love with every inch of our being. We love to the point we would bring each star down from the sky to brighten our spouses day.
Breakups will happen from time to time but to truly know what love is, breakups are needed. We will always be able to put ourselves back together. We were whole before them, we will be whole again without them. But do not fear love, embrace it with passion.
Love will always be worth it even when we experience the storms that come with it.
Being diagnosed with Lupus for two years has made me still for the first time in my life. We all do it. We go, go, and go without a second thought it’s just how life is. I never once thought of myself I always put myself on the back burner because there were other things to worry about first. I never truly established who I am, truly. It seems calm at first like the morning sea yet can turn into a turbulent storm. The quote ” Not all who are wandering, are lost” rings true for me. I have wandered on my own path more in the past 2 years after being divorced than any other time of my life.
When I feel as though I’m on the right track I get diverted onto a new path I never knew. It has to be themes scariest feeling at the age of 27 of just now discovering who you are, why you are the way you are, and accepting it all. There are times (like now) that my lupus has me sit and stay put. This is when the mind wanders and I have time to think. Time to do me. Time to figure out my next step in life. Lupus should have never been the reason for this new discovery and journey in my life, but it was. The pain, illness, and everything in between brought me to who I am today. I was forced to center myself, to take care of myself.
This is when I rediscover new things about myself and how important it is not to be yourself last. You have to come first in all that you do day after day. You are just as important as anything else in this world. You matter.
Wander as far as it will take you, enjoy the journey.
We’ve all been there, when we lose all hope because we keep getting knocked down. What we want doesn’t happen when *we* expect it to. Life happens to put a dark rain cloud over our head that we can’t seem to shake. In my short life I have learned that when all hope is lost, there’s only one person I can turn to. It’s during these times that you’ll also find out who your true friends are and who really has your back. Our expectations on how our life should be is what creates the storm inside of us.
We tend to worry about the things we lost in life whether it is physical items or memories from the past. Instead of worrying about the things we’ve may have lost, rejoice the biggest blessing you have, LIFE!
Your phone can be replaced
Personal items can be replaced
The house can be rebuilt
You have one life and one life only, that is your superpower during tough times.
You may not see it now but you are so blessed. We all go through tough times, life just happens that way. How we get through the storm is what truly matters. Storms never last forever, sail with faith and get through it without harm.
When it becomes to hard to stand, kneel.
We are what we think.
We are what we focus on.
But how do we manifest the laws of attraction?
Our thoughts determine where our day will go and what energy will come your way. We have all had those days where something small will seem to ruin your day. I’ve been there, recently. Something so small ruined my day and brought in so much bad energy. The bad energy is what I brought in myself. We are what we think.
Where we put our attention should always focus on what we want in life not what we don’t want. Fear comes into play into this. Instead think of what gets you excited and what’s to cone.
Intention is the next step to attracting good energy. What do you see yourself accomplishing? When? With who? This should all be focused on positive energy and one with the universe.
Action is the last step. Let go of any bad attachments and fear. Here is the hard part. You have to let go and let the universe take over. We are so used to taking control and making things work. This is what can bring on stress and bad energy. Focus on what is in front of you.
Trust the timing of your life!
You are where you need to be in the present moment!
Such a simple word yet one with meaning and depth. Fear is a liar. Fear will tell you you’re not good enough and stop you right in your tracks. It is something we try to keep out our lives yet something that easily comes into our life when we aren’t paying attention. You are not your past mistakes.
Why do we give into fear so easily? Once we knowledge it, it latches on like a leach. So how do we keep it away when it is so unwanted?
Be happy. Be blessed.
Today is a good day to be alive so we should be living it as such. Dont let fear steal your happiness!
Remember that you are good enough.
Remember you are beautiful.
Remember you are wanted.
Do not let fear ruin your life. You have come to far to give into it.
We’ve all been there (men too) to agreeing to everything that comes our way. That is my problem in life.
“Hey we changed your schedule last minute thats cool right?” Yeah sure.
“Are you really ok?” Yeah
I’m a yes girl
I have a problem with telling people no. I don’t like to disappointment people or let them down. I feel as though I have to defend why I’m saying no. I can’t deal with seeing it in their eyes so I just go along with it.
I wasn’t always the yes girl believe it or not. When I was between 18-21 I was so much more assertive and more carefree. Confronting problems was never an issue to me. How people saw me never mattered because I loved myself more. So what changed?? I seriously ask myself this question all the time! I’m still not sure where I went wrong and how my personality changed so much. After while I got used to making others happy and forgot to do the same with myself. I started to put myself last. Instead of being the outgoing person I used to be, I started to be shy and sheltered. Now I worry if I upset others and jump to rescue the situation.
This is when I realized it was turning into a problem, especially when it came to my personality. When looking and thinking about it, it sends me into panic. Prioritizing my mental health has given me the courage to say no. Realizing that I needed help gave my strength to go down this journey. My boyfriend helped me realize that I was hurting myself more than helping myself when trying to help others. It made me sad that I got into this emotional state in my life but I was also proud of myself to getting to where I am now. It is an on going process and learning experience very similar to a roller coaster ride. I’m excited to see where I go from here and truly spending time with myself!