self love

Ok, you guys probably think I enjoy being alone at this point but it never used to be this way. I used to hate being alone, I never saw the value of being by myself. In today’s society being alone is looked down upon. Whether you just want to stay in a bit more or just being single. Over the past year I learned 5 essential aspects of being alone.

1) Being mindful: This is the time where you can calm your mind and process events throughout your day or even the week. This is also the time where meditation can come in handy. I don’t do it every single day but I do make it a habit of doing it at least twice a week. Whether you are speaking to God or the universe, it help calm the storm in your life.

2) Me time: This is something that I have had trouble with in the past. I would help and be with everyone else and not put any effort into myself. When our lives become so busy and hectic me time is needed. Whether it’s making a at home spa day, writing, or even reading take that time for yourself. You are worth it!

3) Facing our problems: Now this is a big one for most of us. Being alone can ultimately give you time to process what is going on in our lives whether it is good or bad. It can be easy to push it to the side and forget about it but it will probably end up coming up later. Taking time to deal with them alone, peacefully can make it easier when trying to tackle them.

4) Taking control: We make our own choices, we are ultimately the creator of our life. If you enjoy the outdoors, go on a peaceful stroll. If you like to read, grab a book and a hot cup of tea. Being alone shouldn’t make you feel weak, it should empower you. Do not let stress rule your life. Be present in your life!

5) Stop making excuses: If you are planning a “me time” do it. If you are overwhelmed with life at the moment and haven’t taken the time to focus on you, change it. We aren’t the energizer bunny, so stop and take a break. Take 10 minutes out of your day and focus on you. Love yourself!

One thing I have always noticed is that some of us are afraid to be alone. Afraid to grow old and be alone. Afraid to come home to empty house. Afraid of living life alone. Most times we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. We tend to overthink every aspect of our lives and we end up being our own worst enemies. As a society we tend to think of it as them against us but what about when it’s us vs. ourselves. 

Why are we afraid to be alone with ourselves?

Being alone can bring us more strength then being with others at our side. We find our weakness but most importantly we find our strengths.  Find that silent place and listen. Do not argue with yourself. Do not think about what still has to be done. Be one with mature. Be one with Earth.

This is where we find our inner peace. This is where we find the power we thought we lost but most importantly this is where we heal. Without silence we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds. Getting over our fear of being alone is the first step of find our own strength. There is no shame or sadness to come from being alone.

Just find yourself ❤

As I watch youtube, facebook, and any other social media it’s come to my attention lately of women doing outrageous lifestyle changes to “fit in” with society. We look at magazines and see flawless women on every cover. No imperfections, looking perfect. I think we all go through a stage when we just want to fit into what society wants us to look like. Being a certain size. Having flawless skin. The perfect hair even. I went through that stage and eventually grew out of it. During that part of my life I felt everything but happy. It was hard just to fit in. Being bi-racial I couldn’t just pick a “group” to hang out with. 

Over time we learn to hate our imperfections and how to hide them as much as possible. We learn to hate ourselves instead of loving ourselves and it’s a long way back to self love once you break down your self down that far. 

Love your imperfections. Love who you are. Love yourself. Nothing and no one in this lifetime can take that from you. There is only one of you that is your superpower. Do not hide what makes you, you. You are perfect in your own right. You may not look like a Victoria Secret model but that’s ok. You may not have the flawless skin or hair and again that’s ok. You are unique and have your own qualities you bring to the world. As long as you love yourself others will fall in love with that too. Show others how amazing they already are, bring them up don’t break them down. Self love will always be the best love. 

Anxiety and panic attacks is something I have always suffered from. It started slowly when domestic violence happened in my marriage. In the beginning I didn’t occur to me what was happening. I alienated myself from the world before I know what was truly taking place. At times they still happen.

When the panic attacks happen it feels as though everything in life just stops. You start to sweat. You go into a major panic everything and nothing. Your heart wants to jump out your chest. You can barely breathe. It can be one of the most frightening things you’ll experience in life.

So I write this for others who have suffered the same experience or knows someone who has. Panic attacks do not change who you are, who you truly are. You can get through this. You’re strong and you are not alone. Have faith and get positive thoughts. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you💜

Happy Saturday everyone!

As I woke up today I felt nothing but happiness. Although my Lupus hasn’t been agreeing with me lately, I still feel happy and blessed. How we start our day is usually how we end our day. Being negative as soon as we wake up in the morning will only lead to our demise.

Our lives are never perfect. We have stress, work, school, family, and children to worry about it. Yes, I get it we have so much on our plate. But take a moment and just breathe. Take a moment for you in your busy day. Sometimes we forgot (even myself) to take a step back and decompress. We get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we forget to realize how blessed we truly are. 

When we feel stress mounting up that’s the sign that we’ve gone too far. So how do we decompress when we have so much going on? Read a book, go out for a walk, meditate, or even just take a longer way home and listen to your favorite music. Our lives will always have some type of stress. It’s how we deal with it that determines our future. 🌸

Something got me thinking lately, when we look around us what do we normally see? People in love, holding hands, beautiful couples. Some of us are still trying to find that “perfect” love or spouse in their lives, but is there truly a perfect relationship? 

I’ve been in a relationship for nearly nine months and let me tell you it hasn’t been a walk in the park. Yet, I couldn’t see my life without him at my side. Each day is a new chapter in a new book. Love is never simple. Love is never easy. Love is a blessing. Relationships take work, it’s like another full time job. We have to put in work daily, make each other feel wanted and appreciated.

So is there a perfect relationship? The Hallmark channel will make it seem like it during the holiday time, but no there isn’t. Everyone is different, no couple is the same as another. Yet, we’re in such a rush to be in a relationship. If you’re single, embrace it. A relationship doesn’t define you. If you’re in a relationship, again embrace it. Cherish it. Love each other. Feel young again. 

With the holiday’s approaching us, let us remember that those we have in our lives spouse and family should be first. Let us cherish each other.  Do not rush life, enjoy every moment. How else would we enjoy our blessings?

As the dreaded Monday’s are upon us yet again, I got to thinking (as I always do). Why do we tend to think that Monday’s are the worst? We portray Monday as though it was Friday the 13th week after week. I can’t be the only one who has heard, “It’s Monday” when things don’t  go our way. Again, I’m guilty of this at times!

The positivity we have carrying the other six days out the week should be changed to seven. So how do we get out of this slump you ask? 

1) We can remember our blessings and be humbled by it, let our hearts grow two inches bigger

OR 

2) Feel like Grinch who stole Christmas

We are ultimately in control of what we feel and how we display it to others. We can feed into the negativity or instead be the sunshine someone may need in their lives. No one and I mean no one can make us feel anything or think disheartening thoughts. It took me a LONG time to figure that out, call me stubborn in my ways as most of us are. Yet, when we think about the inconveniences in our lives, are they really inconveniences?

We have to go to work on Monday’s. In reality you are blessed as some can’t find work.

Balancing life, work life, our children, and spouse. We have a loving family and have love to come home to.

Count your rainbows 🙂