Patience in all Things

Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor. 

Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.

Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else. 

Being The Perfect Step Parent

This is a question I have always asked myself. How do you become the perfect step parent? Without trying to step on boundaries. Being in a relationship where your spouse has children is not an easy mountain climb. Questions always arise if you’re going to do the right thing or just being very cautious and walking on egg shells.

I have seen others around me do it. I’ve seen only love and acceptance. It is a learning process especially coming from someone who has never had a child of their own. 

Seeing how my parents have raised me has helped calm my fears. I know there isn’t a such thing as a perfect parent or step parent. The important thing is that we try. Accept them for who they are. Encourage them. Love them deeply and completely. Bring them closer to faith and God. Everything else will fall into place!

Joy and Happiness

Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.

It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.

I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.

Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂

Fears

Why does it seem that our fears take hold of our life? Fear of letting go. Fear of the future. Fear of the present. It’s an emotion that most won’t talk about simply because it shows weakness. Yet, when we don’t talk about it, it takes over our lives.

Living in fear is something I was used to being a domestic violence survivor. It is definitely not a way to live your life. Not only does it effect your life it also effects those around you. It shows in what you do and say.

Let us not be overcome by fear but instead live each day with happiness. Let us talk about our weaknesses and sadness without thinking what society may think of us. Don’t let fears hold you back, you are worth every inch of happiness in this world. Embrace it 🙂

Mind Over Matter

Having Lupus has to be one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Some days I have all the energy in the world. Other days I can’t even leave my bed. It’s been a learning curve for me daily, no day is ever the same. 

Sometimes finding the will power to continue on is hard. I’d be lying if I said I was strong 100% of time. I feel like this goes for anything else in life. 

Giving up seems great and all until you think about the people who love and depend on you. That is the core of what keeps us going. Knowing we aren’t alone. Will the pain cease to exist? Will it disappear one day like it never happened? Probably not but there are good things that come from it.

Good things from Lupus? Yes, I know hard to believe but there is. You get to understand your body and inner being more. Seeing friends and loved ones there for you willing to help at any time. You enjoy life more because tomorrow is never promised.

Don’t let the fear of tomorrow ruin your day. Find the strength in each day to continue. Take the time and pray. Giving up should never be an option. When you feel like giving up lean on those around you, love will keep you going.

Self-Love

As I watch youtube, facebook, and any other social media it’s come to my attention lately of women doing outrageous lifestyle changes to “fit in” with society. We look at magazines and see flawless women on every cover. No imperfections, looking perfect. I think we all go through a stage when we just want to fit into what society wants us to look like. Being a certain size. Having flawless skin. The perfect hair even. I went through that stage and eventually grew out of it. During that part of my life I felt everything but happy. It was hard just to fit in. Being bi-racial I couldn’t just pick a “group” to hang out with. 

Over time we learn to hate our imperfections and how to hide them as much as possible. We learn to hate ourselves instead of loving ourselves and it’s a long way back to self love once you break down your self down that far. 

Love your imperfections. Love who you are. Love yourself. Nothing and no one in this lifetime can take that from you. There is only one of you that is your superpower. Do not hide what makes you, you. You are perfect in your own right. You may not look like a Victoria Secret model but that’s ok. You may not have the flawless skin or hair and again that’s ok. You are unique and have your own qualities you bring to the world. As long as you love yourself others will fall in love with that too. Show others how amazing they already are, bring them up don’t break them down. Self love will always be the best love. 

That Feeling

There are times where I get survivor’s guilt. It’s a feeling I can’t hide or help at times. Being a survivor of domestic violence gives me strength to tackle the next day. Yet, at times I have guilt about surviving while others didn’t. Watching shows, movies, and even reading articles. They hit my heart hard and it’s hard to shake. Sometimes, I question on why and how did I survive. Why did I get to live while others didn’t. It’s a hard feeling to shake at times. When you feel like you “fully” recovered and it’s in the past, it sneaks back up on you. It creeps back in when you thought you shut the door and sealed the cracks of you heart and soul. Are all days like this? No. Some days I don’t even think about it and I’m truly happy. Other days it sneaks back into my life and I get silent. How do you truly get over something that has changed your life forever? I’m still finding that out along the way. It is never an easy road. I’ve tried taking short cuts and ended up at dead ends. I’ve taken the long way and ended up lost. But are we truly lost if we wander in our own journey through rediscovery? I’m Finding new pieces to my life and new things about myself. It’s like rediscovering my inner being of who I truly am. Domestic violence tears you apart in every faction of the way. It messes with you mentally and physically for the rest of your life. Yet, we are not broken. We are not the black sheep of society. We are human. We survived. We live on for others who didn’t have the chance. We let our stories and their stories be told until there is no hurt in the world.

The Future, Don’t Stress

The more I think about the future the more excited I get about it. Sometimes the future can scare us, give us anxiety, or give us joy. Sometimes it can do all of the above. I have had a habit of thinking of the negative that can happen instead of the good. It’s always been a habit of mine, some of my life events just encouraged that aspect of my life to stay longer than it should. With graduation closing on in I have only thinking of the positive things to come and for once I haven’t second guessed myself by it. There is always something positive to look forward to. We have to find the rainbow between the storms. It may not always be easy but even the lightning can guide us. Seek happiness when thinking of the future. You never truly know the blessings coming your way. 

Halloween Is Upon Us Again

Halloween is one of favorite yet scary holidays for me. Let me explain! I love Halloween because I love to see the creativity of others around me when it comes to costumes and of course the candy. Yet, I am the biggest child when it comes to haunted houses and scary movies. You won’t find me inside a haunted house and I’ll probably be covering my eyes if I happen to watch a scary movie. BUT it is still one of my top holiday’s to celebrate, yes I know the struggle is real. So today, as we go out with the ghouls and witches of the night please stay safe. Keep an eye on the little ones and please don’t drink and drive after those Halloween parties. Enjoy the festivities and watch out for what lurks in the darkness! 

When is Enough, Actually Enough?

I have come to notice that I have a problem of over extending myself. Whether it’s from college, life, and work. We tend to over extend ourselves until we are 100% stressed out and at our wits end. Why do we do so much until we’re on empty? I know I’m not the only one on this boat.

Having Lupus makes it much harder because stress just tears down my body. I tend to break out, have exhaustion, panic attacks etc. Stress is just killer for me among other things.  So how do we destress from life? How do you relax during a busy week? Is there really a way not to stress about life in general? Those seem to be the million dollar questions we’re all seeking and yet the answer is not a simple yes or no. Our actions can calm the storm or we can add to the thunder and destruction. 

Overly stressing about stress because I’m stressed is my problem. What I’ve been doing lately is mediating, using aromatherapy oils in a diffuser, and reading. Meditating seems to help calm my mind and bring silence to the chaos around me. Focusing on peace, being one with yourself, being one with the world around you. It bring me back down to earth and gets me ready for the day. Aromatherapy oils are simply amazing. Since i’ve been diffusing them nightly, I sleep better and I can find peace much quicker. Reading just takes you to another world. It can help you forget what is happening around you while still calming your mind and body.

I share these little tips so they can help you as much as they’ve helped me. We tend to have flare ups because we hit a bump along the way and forget to destress. They are simply learning curves on what and what not to do. We are human. We make mistakes. We can get through anything if we have enough courage to. So relax, we have one life don’t live it stressing it all away.