Benefits of Spending Time Alone

Ok, you guys probably think I enjoy being alone at this point but it never used to be this way. I used to hate being alone, I never saw the value of being by myself. In today’s society being alone is looked down upon. Whether you just want to stay in a bit more or just being single. Over the past year I learned 5 essential aspects of being alone.

1) Being mindful: This is the time where you can calm your mind and process events throughout your day or even the week. This is also the time where meditation can come in handy. I don’t do it every single day but I do make it a habit of doing it at least twice a week. Whether you are speaking to God or the universe, it help calm the storm in your life.

2) Me time: This is something that I have had trouble with in the past. I would help and be with everyone else and not put any effort into myself. When our lives become so busy and hectic me time is needed. Whether it’s making a at home spa day, writing, or even reading take that time for yourself. You are worth it!

3) Facing our problems: Now this is a big one for most of us. Being alone can ultimately give you time to process what is going on in our lives whether it is good or bad. It can be easy to push it to the side and forget about it but it will probably end up coming up later. Taking time to deal with them alone, peacefully can make it easier when trying to tackle them.

4) Taking control: We make our own choices, we are ultimately the creator of our life. If you enjoy the outdoors, go on a peaceful stroll. If you like to read, grab a book and a hot cup of tea. Being alone shouldn’t make you feel weak, it should empower you. Do not let stress rule your life. Be present in your life!

5) Stop making excuses: If you are planning a “me time” do it. If you are overwhelmed with life at the moment and haven’t taken the time to focus on you, change it. We aren’t the energizer bunny, so stop and take a break. Take 10 minutes out of your day and focus on you. Love yourself!

Be Kind To One Another

In our everyday life we get super stressed out. I know I’m not the only one. We can tend to take it out on others. We have a bad day at work, our mood changes. Something doesn’t go out way, we take it out on others. 

Whether we do it in our words or actions we tend to cause damage. Not everything will go our way and that’s ok. If we can’t change it, why worry. 

Let us be kind to one another especially now in our society. It can change someone’s day with just one kind gesture. When it happens to us, it changes our perspective of the day. We need more kindness and love in the world. It will always start with us.

So let’s pay it forward!

Being Alone

One thing I have always noticed is that some of us are afraid to be alone. Afraid to grow old and be alone. Afraid to come home to empty house. Afraid of living life alone. Most times we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. We tend to overthink every aspect of our lives and we end up being our own worst enemies. As a society we tend to think of it as them against us but what about when it’s us vs. ourselves. 

Why are we afraid to be alone with ourselves?

Being alone can bring us more strength then being with others at our side. We find our weakness but most importantly we find our strengths.  Find that silent place and listen. Do not argue with yourself. Do not think about what still has to be done. Be one with mature. Be one with Earth.

This is where we find our inner peace. This is where we find the power we thought we lost but most importantly this is where we heal. Without silence we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds. Getting over our fear of being alone is the first step of find our own strength. There is no shame or sadness to come from being alone.

Just find yourself ❤

Love

Understanding love seems to be like trying understand every aspect of the universe. It can end up being the most difficult thing to obtain and keep at times. While other times it’s as easy as breathing. 

So do we give up on the aspect of what love should be or continue and strive for moments and memories it can bring? I have been fighting with this since I went through my divorce. If love is supposed to be the most wonderful aspect of life, why does it end up hurting you?

Having only one thought of what it should be gets us in trouble. It isn’t how Disney shows it to be in movies. The hardships is what strengthens the bond between two people. The lack of the strength and faith is what seems to make people fall apart. 

Something worth having will never come easy. Strive for more with each other but most importantly don’t give up on each other. If it’s worth having it’s worth fighting for.

New Year Thoughts

For most of us the New Year is the a new beginning, closing one book and starting another. We’ve all heard it before from most people around us, sticking to a diet and losing weight seems to be the highlight of everyone’s New Years resolution. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because I’m never able to stick to them past the first month. Then comes feeling bad for yourself because you couldn’t keep up with the goal you made. Seems like a never ending cycle each year.

Yet, this year is a bit different for me. Overcoming an awful marriage, divorce, and health problems, I feel like I took on the world and never realized I did. My 2017 resolution wasn’t being the conqueror of obstacles in my way, yet here I am. Most of our resoulstions we make fall between weight loss or money. Instead of focusing on materialistic or concentrating on how we look let us focus on what we have and what we have to gain from 2018.

My only resolution for 2018 is to enjoy life. Sounds pretty simple for most but is truly something I have yet to do since my divorce and even before that. I tend to worry about what is to come before it even happens which leads to stress which is something we all know about. If we don’t enjoy the now, how will we enjoy the blessings coming our way? Enjoy the little things, make memories, and enjoy what 2018 has to offer us.

I truly hope 2018 is a great year for all!

Patience in all Things

Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor. 

Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.

Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else. 

Being The Perfect Step Parent

This is a question I have always asked myself. How do you become the perfect step parent? Without trying to step on boundaries. Being in a relationship where your spouse has children is not an easy mountain climb. Questions always arise if you’re going to do the right thing or just being very cautious and walking on egg shells.

I have seen others around me do it. I’ve seen only love and acceptance. It is a learning process especially coming from someone who has never had a child of their own. 

Seeing how my parents have raised me has helped calm my fears. I know there isn’t a such thing as a perfect parent or step parent. The important thing is that we try. Accept them for who they are. Encourage them. Love them deeply and completely. Bring them closer to faith and God. Everything else will fall into place!

Joy and Happiness

Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.

It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.

I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.

Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂

Fears

Why does it seem that our fears take hold of our life? Fear of letting go. Fear of the future. Fear of the present. It’s an emotion that most won’t talk about simply because it shows weakness. Yet, when we don’t talk about it, it takes over our lives.

Living in fear is something I was used to being a domestic violence survivor. It is definitely not a way to live your life. Not only does it effect your life it also effects those around you. It shows in what you do and say.

Let us not be overcome by fear but instead live each day with happiness. Let us talk about our weaknesses and sadness without thinking what society may think of us. Don’t let fears hold you back, you are worth every inch of happiness in this world. Embrace it 🙂

Mind Over Matter

Having Lupus has to be one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Some days I have all the energy in the world. Other days I can’t even leave my bed. It’s been a learning curve for me daily, no day is ever the same. 

Sometimes finding the will power to continue on is hard. I’d be lying if I said I was strong 100% of time. I feel like this goes for anything else in life. 

Giving up seems great and all until you think about the people who love and depend on you. That is the core of what keeps us going. Knowing we aren’t alone. Will the pain cease to exist? Will it disappear one day like it never happened? Probably not but there are good things that come from it.

Good things from Lupus? Yes, I know hard to believe but there is. You get to understand your body and inner being more. Seeing friends and loved ones there for you willing to help at any time. You enjoy life more because tomorrow is never promised.

Don’t let the fear of tomorrow ruin your day. Find the strength in each day to continue. Take the time and pray. Giving up should never be an option. When you feel like giving up lean on those around you, love will keep you going.