Being The Perfect Step Parent

This is a question I have always asked myself. How do you become the perfect step parent? Without trying to step on boundaries. Being in a relationship where your spouse has children is not an easy mountain climb. Questions always arise if you’re going to do the right thing or just being very cautious and walking on egg shells.

I have seen others around me do it. I’ve seen only love and acceptance. It is a learning process especially coming from someone who has never had a child of their own. 

Seeing how my parents have raised me has helped calm my fears. I know there isn’t a such thing as a perfect parent or step parent. The important thing is that we try. Accept them for who they are. Encourage them. Love them deeply and completely. Bring them closer to faith and God. Everything else will fall into place!

Joy and Happiness

Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.

It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.

I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.

Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂

That Feeling

There are times where I get survivor’s guilt. It’s a feeling I can’t hide or help at times. Being a survivor of domestic violence gives me strength to tackle the next day. Yet, at times I have guilt about surviving while others didn’t. Watching shows, movies, and even reading articles. They hit my heart hard and it’s hard to shake. Sometimes, I question on why and how did I survive. Why did I get to live while others didn’t. It’s a hard feeling to shake at times. When you feel like you “fully” recovered and it’s in the past, it sneaks back up on you. It creeps back in when you thought you shut the door and sealed the cracks of you heart and soul. Are all days like this? No. Some days I don’t even think about it and I’m truly happy. Other days it sneaks back into my life and I get silent. How do you truly get over something that has changed your life forever? I’m still finding that out along the way. It is never an easy road. I’ve tried taking short cuts and ended up at dead ends. I’ve taken the long way and ended up lost. But are we truly lost if we wander in our own journey through rediscovery? I’m Finding new pieces to my life and new things about myself. It’s like rediscovering my inner being of who I truly am. Domestic violence tears you apart in every faction of the way. It messes with you mentally and physically for the rest of your life. Yet, we are not broken. We are not the black sheep of society. We are human. We survived. We live on for others who didn’t have the chance. We let our stories and their stories be told until there is no hurt in the world.

The Future, Don’t Stress

The more I think about the future the more excited I get about it. Sometimes the future can scare us, give us anxiety, or give us joy. Sometimes it can do all of the above. I have had a habit of thinking of the negative that can happen instead of the good. It’s always been a habit of mine, some of my life events just encouraged that aspect of my life to stay longer than it should. With graduation closing on in I have only thinking of the positive things to come and for once I haven’t second guessed myself by it. There is always something positive to look forward to. We have to find the rainbow between the storms. It may not always be easy but even the lightning can guide us. Seek happiness when thinking of the future. You never truly know the blessings coming your way. 

Hump day thoughts

Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit back and actually think about how far your life has come? Where you used to be and where you are now? That’s where I am today.

Two years ago I was in a marriage that involved domestic violence, both verbal and physical abuse. At that time I thought I had no way out and that this was always going to be my life, to live in fear. I forgot what life was and how to live. At times I didn’t want to live just because it was painful. I was lost and confused about how I got to this point in my life. It lasted from 2010 to the time I had the courage and strength to leave.

Last year I had the courage to leave my ex husband and ended up at my mothers front door. Crying my eyes out, not knowing what to do. My temporary stay turned into me staying in Texas long term. Finding myself has harder than I thought it was going to be. I still find out new things about myself daily, it’s a never ending learning experience. The divorce was painful, nothing about it was easy. The emotions that get brought up during those six months was walking through a dream you can’t wake up from. His surprise visits trying, the emails, and continuous contact was hell served on a silver platter. Yet, I never backed down and I never went back.

Present day, my life is simply blessed. Do the memories every truly fade away? no they don’t. Instead of scars they are lessons for me. My past can never be changed so I have learned to embrace it and help others find their way. My life is nothing less than beautiful. The man in my life has been a blessing in more ways than one. I’m closer to my family. I have finally learned how to live and live for me. 

So I tell you this story not for sympathy but for strength. Have the courage to live the life you dreamt of. Have the strength to claw your way out of hell and back into the light. We all have the power to choose how we life our life. So why not choose to be happy and enjoy what God has given us?

Circle of Life

So something happened today that I couldn’t help but share with you. Have you ever been disappointed at joy that felt like it was stolen from you? Like it was turn from you when you wished for it so? 

This happened to me today. I thought for the better half of October that there was a possibility that I could be pregnant. The thought of it for my boyfriend and I brought us nothing but joy. So why not be excited about the thought of a little blessing. To my dismay, we aren’t. I felt angry, sad, and just about every other emotion out there you could think of. Why? Why was that little piece of joy taken from us? I was at a point where I didn’t want to think and I may never understand how my broken heart is apart of God’s plan. 

So instead of feeding into the emotions too much I had to go outside and just breathe and listen. Listen to the quiet, so the quiet can calm my sadness and calm my heart. I now understand that it is simply not our time yet. Patience isn’t my strong suit in life but I know I can’t rush this in our life. I don’t blame myself, my love, or God. 

Waiting for that positive sign on a pregnancy test can be the most heartbreaking feeling a woman can go through. The longest 30 seconds of a wait, the most excitement you will ever feel, or the most sadness you may experience. When you try and try and try with no results happening it can lead you to a bottomless pit. As I tear up from writing this I also feel strength from it. I just have to remember you’re God and I am not. 

So I tell you this, don’t let the results get you down. When that positive sign happens to show up, embrace that blessing and share that with your spouse. If the results aren’t positive do not let that weaken your faith. Keep the faith. Keep the love between your spouse going. Keep hope in your heart.

Keep trying and always know you’re not alone in this journey.