We’ve all been there (men too) to agreeing to everything that comes our way. That is my problem in life.
“Hey we changed your schedule last minute thats cool right?” Yeah sure.
“Are you really ok?” Yeah
I’m a yes girl
I have a problem with telling people no. I don’t like to disappointment people or let them down. I feel as though I have to defend why I’m saying no. I can’t deal with seeing it in their eyes so I just go along with it.
I wasn’t always the yes girl believe it or not. When I was between 18-21 I was so much more assertive and more carefree. Confronting problems was never an issue to me. How people saw me never mattered because I loved myself more. So what changed?? I seriously ask myself this question all the time! I’m still not sure where I went wrong and how my personality changed so much. After while I got used to making others happy and forgot to do the same with myself. I started to put myself last. Instead of being the outgoing person I used to be, I started to be shy and sheltered. Now I worry if I upset others and jump to rescue the situation.
This is when I realized it was turning into a problem, especially when it came to my personality. When looking and thinking about it, it sends me into panic. Prioritizing my mental health has given me the courage to say no. Realizing that I needed help gave my strength to go down this journey. My boyfriend helped me realize that I was hurting myself more than helping myself when trying to help others. It made me sad that I got into this emotional state in my life but I was also proud of myself to getting to where I am now. It is an on going process and learning experience very similar to a roller coaster ride. I’m excited to see where I go from here and truly spending time with myself!
This is a question I have always asked myself. How do you become the perfect step parent? Without trying to step on boundaries. Being in a relationship where your spouse has children is not an easy mountain climb. Questions always arise if you’re going to do the right thing or just being very cautious and walking on egg shells.
I have seen others around me do it. I’ve seen only love and acceptance. It is a learning process especially coming from someone who has never had a child of their own.
Seeing how my parents have raised me has helped calm my fears. I know there isn’t a such thing as a perfect parent or step parent. The important thing is that we try. Accept them for who they are. Encourage them. Love them deeply and completely. Bring them closer to faith and God. Everything else will fall into place!
The more I think about the future the more excited I get about it. Sometimes the future can scare us, give us anxiety, or give us joy. Sometimes it can do all of the above. I have had a habit of thinking of the negative that can happen instead of the good. It’s always been a habit of mine, some of my life events just encouraged that aspect of my life to stay longer than it should. With graduation closing on in I have only thinking of the positive things to come and for once I haven’t second guessed myself by it. There is always something positive to look forward to. We have to find the rainbow between the storms. It may not always be easy but even the lightning can guide us. Seek happiness when thinking of the future. You never truly know the blessings coming your way.
I have come to notice that I have a problem of over extending myself. Whether it’s from college, life, and work. We tend to over extend ourselves until we are 100% stressed out and at our wits end. Why do we do so much until we’re on empty? I know I’m not the only one on this boat.
Having Lupus makes it much harder because stress just tears down my body. I tend to break out, have exhaustion, panic attacks etc. Stress is just killer for me among other things. So how do we destress from life? How do you relax during a busy week? Is there really a way not to stress about life in general? Those seem to be the million dollar questions we’re all seeking and yet the answer is not a simple yes or no. Our actions can calm the storm or we can add to the thunder and destruction.
Overly stressing about stress because I’m stressed is my problem. What I’ve been doing lately is mediating, using aromatherapy oils in a diffuser, and reading. Meditating seems to help calm my mind and bring silence to the chaos around me. Focusing on peace, being one with yourself, being one with the world around you. It bring me back down to earth and gets me ready for the day. Aromatherapy oils are simply amazing. Since i’ve been diffusing them nightly, I sleep better and I can find peace much quicker. Reading just takes you to another world. It can help you forget what is happening around you while still calming your mind and body.
I share these little tips so they can help you as much as they’ve helped me. We tend to have flare ups because we hit a bump along the way and forget to destress. They are simply learning curves on what and what not to do. We are human. We make mistakes. We can get through anything if we have enough courage to. So relax, we have one life don’t live it stressing it all away.
Anxiety and panic attacks is something I have always suffered from. It started slowly when domestic violence happened in my marriage. In the beginning I didn’t occur to me what was happening. I alienated myself from the world before I know what was truly taking place. At times they still happen.
When the panic attacks happen it feels as though everything in life just stops. You start to sweat. You go into a major panic everything and nothing. Your heart wants to jump out your chest. You can barely breathe. It can be one of the most frightening things you’ll experience in life.
So I write this for others who have suffered the same experience or knows someone who has. Panic attacks do not change who you are, who you truly are. You can get through this. You’re strong and you are not alone. Have faith and get positive thoughts. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you💜