You Had a Setback, But Are You Ready For Your Setup??

We’ve all been there, when we lose all hope because we keep getting knocked down. What we want doesn’t happen when *we* expect it to. Life happens to put a dark rain cloud over our head that we can’t seem to shake. In my short life I have learned that when all hope is lost, there’s only one person I can turn to. It’s during these times that you’ll also find out who your true friends are and who really has your back. Our expectations on how our life should be is what creates the storm inside of us. 

We tend to worry about the things we lost in life whether it is physical items or memories from the past. Instead of worrying about the things we’ve may have lost, rejoice the biggest blessing you have, LIFE!

Your phone can be replaced

Personal items can be replaced

The house can be rebuilt

You have one life and one life only, that is your superpower during tough times.

You may not see it now but you are so blessed. We all go through tough times, life just happens that way. How we get through the storm is what truly matters. Storms never last forever, sail with faith and get through it without harm.

When it becomes to hard to stand, kneel.

Highs and Lows

There are times our life that we feel like we’re on cloud nine in life. That nothing can go wrong, everything is perfect. Those are the best times in our life and what we look forward. Yet, when an event happens in our life our world crashes around us. How can we be so high and yet drop from heaven and fall so quickly? How do you get through the lows in life? How do you see the light when it’s so far away?

People say just be happy or get over it but don’t help to show you how. There is no play by play book about life and how to handle the lows. I have been through the lowest of the lows, when I saw no other way out. I crawled out and went through fire to get where I am today. How did I do it? To be honest, I wouldn’t even tell you. I kept walking, when I want to curl up in a ball and give up I kept going. I didn’t know where I was going but I kept going. I had very close people in my life that helped me get through but they might as well have been talking a different language. This was one of those journeys I had to do on my own. I clawed my way out, kicking and screaming until I felt alive again. When I wanted to live, I found my purpose to breathe. I was my own world. I was my reason. 

Sometimes you win some and you lose some, at that point I was losing bad. I got up and fell. I couldn’t see the light. Thinking of the where I wanted to be, how I wanted to see my life to be pushed me forward. I was put on this Earth for a reason and I sure as hell going to figure out why. 

When got created mountains and oceans and galaxies he looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too. 

You are here for a reason

You were created and were meant to be here

Continue the journey even when times are hard

When all you see is darkness look at the stars, look at how they shine for you 

Forgiveness

We usually care hardships with us. People who have hurt us, betrayed us, and sometimes broke us. One of my biggest problems in life is forgiving someone who hurt me. Forgiving my ex husband took over 5 years. From the time the abuse started, to the divorce, and to the present day. Why is forgiveness so hard to do?

Most people say “do it for you not them” but it’s usually easy to say and hard to do. I have learned that forgiveness isn’t something you can simple do. Your heart, mind, and soul have to be at peace. I admit at the time my heart, mind, and soul looked like a dark storm with no end in sight. Family and friends among us think that it shouldn’t take us long. Most of my family said leave it to God and let it be.

Yet, my faith was gone and I was lost. The hurt and abuse broke me like no other. I lost my way and when trying to put the broken pieces of myself back together I ended up doing more damage. When I least expected it someone saw the good in me when I didn’t see it in myself. 

Last year I could finally say I forgave him and other people. It takes time to forgive others who have hurt you. Do not feel rushed in doing so. Take time where it is quiet and reflect. Putting yourself back together doesn’t have to be painful but it does start a life journey. And in the process the hurt that was done to you will be more of a chapter you closed instead of a nightmare you’re living. That is when you know your ready 💜

Patience in all Things

Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor. 

Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.

Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else. 

Joy and Happiness

Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.

It’s also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.

I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.

Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! 🙂

Fears

Why does it seem that our fears take hold of our life? Fear of letting go. Fear of the future. Fear of the present. It’s an emotion that most won’t talk about simply because it shows weakness. Yet, when we don’t talk about it, it takes over our lives.

Living in fear is something I was used to being a domestic violence survivor. It is definitely not a way to live your life. Not only does it effect your life it also effects those around you. It shows in what you do and say.

Let us not be overcome by fear but instead live each day with happiness. Let us talk about our weaknesses and sadness without thinking what society may think of us. Don’t let fears hold you back, you are worth every inch of happiness in this world. Embrace it 🙂

Mind Over Matter

Having Lupus has to be one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Some days I have all the energy in the world. Other days I can’t even leave my bed. It’s been a learning curve for me daily, no day is ever the same. 

Sometimes finding the will power to continue on is hard. I’d be lying if I said I was strong 100% of time. I feel like this goes for anything else in life. 

Giving up seems great and all until you think about the people who love and depend on you. That is the core of what keeps us going. Knowing we aren’t alone. Will the pain cease to exist? Will it disappear one day like it never happened? Probably not but there are good things that come from it.

Good things from Lupus? Yes, I know hard to believe but there is. You get to understand your body and inner being more. Seeing friends and loved ones there for you willing to help at any time. You enjoy life more because tomorrow is never promised.

Don’t let the fear of tomorrow ruin your day. Find the strength in each day to continue. Take the time and pray. Giving up should never be an option. When you feel like giving up lean on those around you, love will keep you going.

That Feeling

There are times where I get survivor’s guilt. It’s a feeling I can’t hide or help at times. Being a survivor of domestic violence gives me strength to tackle the next day. Yet, at times I have guilt about surviving while others didn’t. Watching shows, movies, and even reading articles. They hit my heart hard and it’s hard to shake. Sometimes, I question on why and how did I survive. Why did I get to live while others didn’t. It’s a hard feeling to shake at times. When you feel like you “fully” recovered and it’s in the past, it sneaks back up on you. It creeps back in when you thought you shut the door and sealed the cracks of you heart and soul. Are all days like this? No. Some days I don’t even think about it and I’m truly happy. Other days it sneaks back into my life and I get silent. How do you truly get over something that has changed your life forever? I’m still finding that out along the way. It is never an easy road. I’ve tried taking short cuts and ended up at dead ends. I’ve taken the long way and ended up lost. But are we truly lost if we wander in our own journey through rediscovery? I’m Finding new pieces to my life and new things about myself. It’s like rediscovering my inner being of who I truly am. Domestic violence tears you apart in every faction of the way. It messes with you mentally and physically for the rest of your life. Yet, we are not broken. We are not the black sheep of society. We are human. We survived. We live on for others who didn’t have the chance. We let our stories and their stories be told until there is no hurt in the world.

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety and panic attacks is something I have always suffered from. It started slowly when domestic violence happened in my marriage. In the beginning I didn’t occur to me what was happening. I alienated myself from the world before I know what was truly taking place. At times they still happen.

When the panic attacks happen it feels as though everything in life just stops. You start to sweat. You go into a major panic everything and nothing. Your heart wants to jump out your chest. You can barely breathe. It can be one of the most frightening things you’ll experience in life.

So I write this for others who have suffered the same experience or knows someone who has. Panic attacks do not change who you are, who you truly are. You can get through this. You’re strong and you are not alone. Have faith and get positive thoughts. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you💜

 

Stresses in Life

Happy Saturday everyone!

As I woke up today I felt nothing but happiness. Although my Lupus hasn’t been agreeing with me lately, I still feel happy and blessed. How we start our day is usually how we end our day. Being negative as soon as we wake up in the morning will only lead to our demise.

Our lives are never perfect. We have stress, work, school, family, and children to worry about it. Yes, I get it we have so much on our plate. But take a moment and just breathe. Take a moment for you in your busy day. Sometimes we forgot (even myself) to take a step back and decompress. We get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we forget to realize how blessed we truly are. 

When we feel stress mounting up that’s the sign that we’ve gone too far. So how do we decompress when we have so much going on? Read a book, go out for a walk, meditate, or even just take a longer way home and listen to your favorite music. Our lives will always have some type of stress. It’s how we deal with it that determines our future. 🌸