Patience is not an easy thing for me and probably for some of you too. I have a tendency to want what I want when I want it. Not usually thinking of anything else. I was always raised to do things in life on my own so waiting on things to happen aren’t usually in my favor.
Life has taught me that patience is truly a virtue. Nothing in life worth having will come easy. When it comes to relationships patience is still a problem for me. Expecting certain things or how I want them leads to a downfall at times. I’ve started taking a step back little by little and realizing how blessed I was. I had a loving man in my life who loved me without restraints. What I expected and what I had were two different things. What I had is such a blessing that what I expected didn’t compare. My love for him was worth me stepping back and simply having patience.
Not having patience can stop you from realizing what you already have. You always go and go and never stop. Stopping to notice what and who you have in life can bring you peace that you’ve been missing. Having patience is hard but once you notice all you have, it gets easier to live in the now and let go of everything else.
There are times where I get survivor’s guilt. It’s a feeling I can’t hide or help at times. Being a survivor of domestic violence gives me strength to tackle the next day. Yet, at times I have guilt about surviving while others didn’t. Watching shows, movies, and even reading articles. They hit my heart hard and it’s hard to shake. Sometimes, I question on why and how did I survive. Why did I get to live while others didn’t. It’s a hard feeling to shake at times. When you feel like you “fully” recovered and it’s in the past, it sneaks back up on you. It creeps back in when you thought you shut the door and sealed the cracks of you heart and soul. Are all days like this? No. Some days I don’t even think about it and I’m truly happy. Other days it sneaks back into my life and I get silent. How do you truly get over something that has changed your life forever? I’m still finding that out along the way. It is never an easy road. I’ve tried taking short cuts and ended up at dead ends. I’ve taken the long way and ended up lost. But are we truly lost if we wander in our own journey through rediscovery? I’m Finding new pieces to my life and new things about myself. It’s like rediscovering my inner being of who I truly am. Domestic violence tears you apart in every faction of the way. It messes with you mentally and physically for the rest of your life. Yet, we are not broken. We are not the black sheep of society. We are human. We survived. We live on for others who didn’t have the chance. We let our stories and their stories be told until there is no hurt in the world.
Something got me thinking lately, when we look around us what do we normally see? People in love, holding hands, beautiful couples. Some of us are still trying to find that “perfect” love or spouse in their lives, but is there truly a perfect relationship?
I’ve been in a relationship for nearly nine months and let me tell you it hasn’t been a walk in the park. Yet, I couldn’t see my life without him at my side. Each day is a new chapter in a new book. Love is never simple. Love is never easy. Love is a blessing. Relationships take work, it’s like another full time job. We have to put in work daily, make each other feel wanted and appreciated.
So is there a perfect relationship? The Hallmark channel will make it seem like it during the holiday time, but no there isn’t. Everyone is different, no couple is the same as another. Yet, we’re in such a rush to be in a relationship. If you’re single, embrace it. A relationship doesn’t define you. If you’re in a relationship, again embrace it. Cherish it. Love each other. Feel young again.
With the holiday’s approaching us, let us remember that those we have in our lives spouse and family should be first. Let us cherish each other. Do not rush life, enjoy every moment. How else would we enjoy our blessings?