After taking a break for a month or so I’ve never felt so alive yet also feeling so lost. Such a crazy combination when you think about it. My life has been been the greatest it has been in years and the happiest. Yet, apart of me is still struggling to realize that I deserve every inch of God’s grace he’s given me. I’ve put my heart back together and continued to do so when I cut myself in the process. Coming so far yet feeling like no strides have been made. Like more should of been done in that time, feeling defeated when in actuality we won that phase of our lives. I survived such hell and survived domestic violence yet at times I still act like a victim.
Why do we put ourselves down when we have no true reason to?
It leads too others seeing our true soul and sometimes it’s something we don’t want others to see. We’re so vulnerable in this state we can’t hide what is eating us on the inside. Then reality hits us, do we love ourselves? Truly love ourselves? We often say of course we do I’m happy and then after the “but” starts.
Do we love ourselves enough accept where we are in life and what we survived from our past? Better question, can we?
We’re warriors, when we fall we get up stronger. When I look the the scars on my skin it’s a beautiful reminder that I didn’t give in. I have kept the hope alive and found the strength inside to continue. We all have. Yet, the struggles will remain. That’s when a choice comes into play, do we give up or so we continue to fight?
Always continue to fight. When you’re tired, fight. When darkness closes in, fight to see the light. The outcome will always be worth the fight. Accept the fact that you made it through. Accept the scars you were dealt with. They’re battle scars, a reminder you made it through. Be your own sunshine, your reason to take that first breath in the morning.
Keep the hope alive!
Ok, you guys probably think I enjoy being alone at this point but it never used to be this way. I used to hate being alone, I never saw the value of being by myself. In today’s society being alone is looked down upon. Whether you just want to stay in a bit more or just being single. Over the past year I learned 5 essential aspects of being alone.
1) Being mindful: This is the time where you can calm your mind and process events throughout your day or even the week. This is also the time where meditation can come in handy. I don’t do it every single day but I do make it a habit of doing it at least twice a week. Whether you are speaking to God or the universe, it help calm the storm in your life.
2) Me time: This is something that I have had trouble with in the past. I would help and be with everyone else and not put any effort into myself. When our lives become so busy and hectic me time is needed. Whether it’s making a at home spa day, writing, or even reading take that time for yourself. You are worth it!
3) Facing our problems: Now this is a big one for most of us. Being alone can ultimately give you time to process what is going on in our lives whether it is good or bad. It can be easy to push it to the side and forget about it but it will probably end up coming up later. Taking time to deal with them alone, peacefully can make it easier when trying to tackle them.
4) Taking control: We make our own choices, we are ultimately the creator of our life. If you enjoy the outdoors, go on a peaceful stroll. If you like to read, grab a book and a hot cup of tea. Being alone shouldn’t make you feel weak, it should empower you. Do not let stress rule your life. Be present in your life!
5) Stop making excuses: If you are planning a “me time” do it. If you are overwhelmed with life at the moment and haven’t taken the time to focus on you, change it. We aren’t the energizer bunny, so stop and take a break. Take 10 minutes out of your day and focus on you. Love yourself!
As I watch youtube, facebook, and any other social media it’s come to my attention lately of women doing outrageous lifestyle changes to “fit in” with society. We look at magazines and see flawless women on every cover. No imperfections, looking perfect. I think we all go through a stage when we just want to fit into what society wants us to look like. Being a certain size. Having flawless skin. The perfect hair even. I went through that stage and eventually grew out of it. During that part of my life I felt everything but happy. It was hard just to fit in. Being bi-racial I couldn’t just pick a “group” to hang out with.
Over time we learn to hate our imperfections and how to hide them as much as possible. We learn to hate ourselves instead of loving ourselves and it’s a long way back to self love once you break down your self down that far.
Love your imperfections. Love who you are. Love yourself. Nothing and no one in this lifetime can take that from you. There is only one of you that is your superpower. Do not hide what makes you, you. You are perfect in your own right. You may not look like a Victoria Secret model but that’s ok. You may not have the flawless skin or hair and again that’s ok. You are unique and have your own qualities you bring to the world. As long as you love yourself others will fall in love with that too. Show others how amazing they already are, bring them up don’t break them down. Self love will always be the best love.