Finding Yourself

Being diagnosed with Lupus for two years has made me still for the first time in my life. We all do it. We go, go, and go without a second thought it’s just how life is. I never once thought of myself I always put myself on the back burner because there were other things to worry about first. I never truly established who I am, truly. It seems calm at first like the morning sea yet can turn into a turbulent storm. The quote ” Not all who are wandering, are lost” rings true for me. I have wandered on my own path more in the past 2 years after being divorced than any other time of my life.

When I feel as though I’m on the right track I get diverted onto a new path I never knew. It has to be themes scariest feeling at the age of 27 of just now discovering who you are, why you are the way you are, and accepting it all. There are times (like now) that my lupus has me sit and stay put. This is when the mind wanders and I have time to think. Time to do me. Time to figure out my next step in life. Lupus should have never been the reason for this new discovery and journey in my life, but it was. The pain, illness, and everything in between brought me to who I am today. I was forced to center myself, to take care of myself. 

This is when I rediscover new things about myself and how important it is not to be yourself last. You have to come first in all that you do day after day. You are just as important as anything else in this world. You matter.

Wander as far as it will take you, enjoy the journey. 

 

You Had a Setback, But Are You Ready For Your Setup??

We’ve all been there, when we lose all hope because we keep getting knocked down. What we want doesn’t happen when *we* expect it to. Life happens to put a dark rain cloud over our head that we can’t seem to shake. In my short life I have learned that when all hope is lost, there’s only one person I can turn to. It’s during these times that you’ll also find out who your true friends are and who really has your back. Our expectations on how our life should be is what creates the storm inside of us. 

We tend to worry about the things we lost in life whether it is physical items or memories from the past. Instead of worrying about the things we’ve may have lost, rejoice the biggest blessing you have, LIFE!

Your phone can be replaced

Personal items can be replaced

The house can be rebuilt

You have one life and one life only, that is your superpower during tough times.

You may not see it now but you are so blessed. We all go through tough times, life just happens that way. How we get through the storm is what truly matters. Storms never last forever, sail with faith and get through it without harm.

When it becomes to hard to stand, kneel.

Broken Roads

Sometimes we have the power to try and save others. When we see someone care about going down a dark road we try our hardest to stop that journey from happening. Its within us to help others, its human nature.

One of the hardest things for me to do is realizing how far I’m willing to go to help another person. Sometimes I will go so far that I end up risking my health or more because I’m only focused on the one I’m helping.

I have come to realize that not everyone can be saved if they don’t want to save themselves. This can end up feeling like you lost a loved one and that the battle is done. I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to feel like this. It’s ok to hurt, to go through the motions. You are human.

Do not save others and risk your life in the process. Let the other person attempt the changes, knowledge them. Help when needed but know when to step back. It might not always be easy, if can be a downright struggle. Don’t start breaking down your own road to save someone else’s who doesn’t want a better life.

You cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts on you. You can control if your willing to endure their struggles.

Laws of Attraction

We are what we think.

We are what we focus on.

But how do we manifest the laws of attraction?

Our thoughts determine where our day will go and what energy will come your way. We have all had those days where something small will seem to ruin your day. I’ve been there, recently. Something so small ruined my day and brought in so much bad energy. The bad energy is what I brought in myself. We are what we think.

Where we put our attention should always focus on what we want in life not what we don’t want. Fear comes into play into this. Instead think of what gets you excited and what’s to cone.

Intention is the next step to attracting good energy. What do you see yourself accomplishing? When? With who? This should all be focused on positive energy and one with the universe.

Action is the last step. Let go of any bad attachments and fear. Here is the hard part. You have to let go and let the universe take over. We are so used to taking control and making things work. This is what can bring on stress and bad energy. Focus on what is in front of you.

Trust the timing of your life!

You are where you need to be in the present moment!

Fear

Such a simple word yet one with meaning and depth. Fear is a liar. Fear will tell you you’re not good enough and stop you right in your tracks. It is something we try to keep out our lives yet something that easily comes into our life when we aren’t paying attention. You are not your past mistakes.

Why do we give into fear so easily? Once we knowledge it, it latches on like a leach. So how do we keep it away when it is so unwanted?

Be happy. Be blessed.

Today is a good day to be alive so we should be living it as such. Dont let fear steal your happiness!

Remember that you are good enough.

Remember you are beautiful.

Remember you are wanted.

Do not let fear ruin your life. You have come to far to give into it.

The Yes Girl

We’ve all been there (men too) to agreeing to everything that comes our way. That is my problem in life. 

“Hey we changed your schedule last minute thats cool right?” Yeah sure.

“Are you really ok?” Yeah

I’m a yes girl

I have a problem with telling people no. I don’t like to disappointment people or let them down. I feel as though I have to defend why I’m saying no. I can’t deal with seeing it in their eyes so I just go along with it.

I wasn’t always the yes girl believe it or not. When I was between 18-21 I was so much more assertive and more carefree. Confronting problems was never an issue to me. How people saw me never mattered because I loved myself more. So what changed?? I seriously ask myself this question all the time! I’m still not sure where I went wrong and how my personality changed so much. After while I got used to making others happy and forgot to do the same with myself. I started to put myself last. Instead of being the outgoing person I used to be, I started to be shy and sheltered. Now I worry if I upset others and jump to rescue the situation.

This is when I realized it was turning into a problem, especially when it came to my personality. When looking and thinking about it, it sends me into panic. Prioritizing my mental health has given me the courage to say no. Realizing that I needed help gave my strength to go down this journey. My boyfriend helped me realize that I was hurting myself more than helping myself when trying to help others. It made me sad that I got into this emotional state in my life but I was also proud of myself to getting to where I am now. It is an on going process and learning experience very similar to a roller coaster ride. I’m excited to see where I go from here and truly spending time with myself!

 

Lessons in Life

No one likes having storms in our lives. They bring in the thunder, lighting, and be destructive. We usually try our hardest in life to keep these storms out of our lives but when it comes to life they have to come. There are times in our lives that need these storms. Yes, I said it! Storms are needed in our lives. Through the pain, destruction, and loss there are only lessons we can learn from when going through storms. How would we know how strong we truly are if we weren’t tested? There are storms in my life I wish didn’t happen but it taught me so much about myself. To this day those lessons are still teaching me as I tackle every moment of my life. Through the toughest storms of my life taught me that with faith and God there is so much strength in this woman. There will be times where we feel that giving up seems like the better option, I’ve been down that fork in the road. Believe in your faith and where it will lead you, follow your heart. Be silent, be still, talk with God. We learn who we truly are in storms. Our inner being. Our character. Will we quit or fight for who we love and hold dear? This is when that question gets answered. It will lead to loving ourselves, who we really are. Loving ourselves means so much more than others loving us. It will calm you. 

Welcome the storms in your life. See what they bring.

Dance in the rain until you see the rainbow again!

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