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Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom
Letting go of What I Thought I Wanted
When we’re small we always think of what we want our lives to be like. Most of us wanted to be famous, a dancer, an astronaut, or even just rich. When we became adults those plans seem to change so drastically.Â
I always expected that my first marriage would be my last marriage. Yet, that didn’t happen.
I expected to be in a loving marriage but instead was the complete opposite.
I have learned that what we thought we wanted sometimes won’t happen. That life isn’t a fairytale that we see in the Disney movies. Yet, I have also learned that it’s ok when life doesn’t go your way. What I thought I wanted in life has now changed to just living in the moment. When I presisited to make me life be a certain way it added so much stress and disappointment when it didn’t become reality. What I ended up needing in my life shined through. What I have now in life is what I always needed and wanted. How blessed our lives are when we realize this aspect â¤
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Benefits of Spending Time Alone
Ok, you guys probably think I enjoy being alone at this point but it never used to be this way. I used to hate being alone, I never saw the value of being by myself. In today’s society being alone is looked down upon. Whether you just want to stay in a bit more or just being single. Over the past year I learned 5 essential aspects of being alone.
1) Being mindful: This is the time where you can calm your mind and process events throughout your day or even the week. This is also the time where meditation can come in handy. I don’t do it every single day but I do make it a habit of doing it at least twice a week. Whether you are speaking to God or the universe, it help calm the storm in your life.
2) Me time: This is something that I have had trouble with in the past. I would help and be with everyone else and not put any effort into myself. When our lives become so busy and hectic me time is needed. Whether it’s making a at home spa day, writing, or even reading take that time for yourself. You are worth it!
3) Facing our problems: Now this is a big one for most of us. Being alone can ultimately give you time to process what is going on in our lives whether it is good or bad. It can be easy to push it to the side and forget about it but it will probably end up coming up later. Taking time to deal with them alone, peacefully can make it easier when trying to tackle them.
4) Taking control: We make our own choices, we are ultimately the creator of our life. If you enjoy the outdoors, go on a peaceful stroll. If you like to read, grab a book and a hot cup of tea. Being alone shouldn’t make you feel weak, it should empower you. Do not let stress rule your life. Be present in your life!
5) Stop making excuses: If you are planning a “me time” do it. If you are overwhelmed with life at the moment and haven’t taken the time to focus on you, change it. We aren’t the energizer bunny, so stop and take a break. Take 10 minutes out of your day and focus on you. Love yourself!
Be Kind To One Another
In our everyday life we get super stressed out. I know Iâm not the only one. We can tend to take it out on others. We have a bad day at work, our mood changes. Something doesnât go out way, we take it out on others.Â
Whether we do it in our words or actions we tend to cause damage. Not everything will go our way and thatâs ok. If we canât change it, why worry.Â
Let us be kind to one another especially now in our society. It can change someoneâs day with just one kind gesture. When it happens to us, it changes our perspective of the day. We need more kindness and love in the world. It will always start with us.
So letâs pay it forward!
Little Moments
We go through our daily life without much thought. We get up, get the little ones up, and get ready for work. We know what to do and when to do it. Yet at times we think, what else is there? Our lives go stagnant yet we pretend like we donât know why.Â
When did we get so caught up in our lives that we actually forgot to live and enjoy it? We tend to live to survive and not much more. The journey of life should be an adventure, so why donât we live it as one?
Our daily routines have ourselves hostage because we put ourselves in that situation. So instead of doing the daily grind day in and day out letâs start living with purpose again! Â Do something new each day, find a new hobby, or even try out a new place to eat!Â
Itâs time to enjoy life again, we only have one so letâs make it the best possible!Â
Being Alone
One thing I have always noticed is that some of us are afraid to be alone. Afraid to grow old and be alone. Afraid to come home to empty house. Afraid of living life alone. Most times we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. We tend to overthink every aspect of our lives and we end up being our own worst enemies. As a society we tend to think of it as them against us but what about when it’s us vs. ourselves.Â
Why are we afraid to be alone with ourselves?
Being alone can bring us more strength then being with others at our side. We find our weakness but most importantly we find our strengths. Find that silent place and listen. Do not argue with yourself. Do not think about what still has to be done. Be one with mature. Be one with Earth.
This is where we find our inner peace. This is where we find the power we thought we lost but most importantly this is where we heal. Without silence we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds. Getting over our fear of being alone is the first step of find our own strength. There is no shame or sadness to come from being alone.
Just find yourself â¤
Love
Understanding love seems to be like trying understand every aspect of the universe. It can end up being the most difficult thing to obtain and keep at times. While other times itâs as easy as breathing.Â
So do we give up on the aspect of what love should be or continue and strive for moments and memories it can bring? I have been fighting with this since I went through my divorce. If love is supposed to be the most wonderful aspect of life, why does it end up hurting you?
Having only one thought of what it should be gets us in trouble. It isnât how Disney shows it to be in movies. The hardships is what strengthens the bond between two people. The lack of the strength and faith is what seems to make people fall apart.Â
Something worth having will never come easy. Strive for more with each other but most importantly donât give up on each other. If itâs worth having itâs worth fighting for.
Beginnings
We all seem to talk about the ” new year, new me” around this time of year. What does that truly mean? Do we change who we are? Do we travel more? Do we lose the 10 pounds we’ve been talk about all of 2017? (Yes that was me)
We don’t necessarily have to change who we are on the inside or change what we look like from the outside to achieve a new sense of life. We also don’t have to close the book of the previously year like it never happened. We can simply write a continuation to our story. Some of us may have had a bad year and some of us may have had a wonderful year. No matter the outcome we all made it through. It does not matter how many times we fell but instead how many times we got back up.Â
We all have different goals we want to accomplish this year.Â
We all have have different journeys to take this year.
Continue your story and let it be a great one this year!Â
New Year Thoughts
For most of us the New Year is the a new beginning, closing one book and starting another. We’ve all heard it before from most people around us, sticking to a diet and losing weight seems to be the highlight of everyone’s New Years resolution. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because I’m never able to stick to them past the first month. Then comes feeling bad for yourself because you couldn’t keep up with the goal you made. Seems like a never ending cycle each year.
Yet, this year is a bit different for me. Overcoming an awful marriage, divorce, and health problems, I feel like I took on the world and never realized I did. My 2017 resolution wasn’t being the conqueror of obstacles in my way, yet here I am. Most of our resoulstions we make fall between weight loss or money. Instead of focusing on materialistic or concentrating on how we look let us focus on what we have and what we have to gain from 2018.
My only resolution for 2018 is to enjoy life. Sounds pretty simple for most but is truly something I have yet to do since my divorce and even before that. I tend to worry about what is to come before it even happens which leads to stress which is something we all know about. If we don’t enjoy the now, how will we enjoy the blessings coming our way? Enjoy the little things, make memories, and enjoy what 2018 has to offer us.
I truly hope 2018 is a great year for all!
Joy and Happiness
Holiday time has always been one of my favorite times of year. The Christmas decor, family gatherings, the feeling it brings. Holiday time seems to really make a house feel like a home during this time of year.
Itâs also the time of year that we all feel super stressed. From the dinner parties, gifts, and fighting with crowded stores. Instead of feeling the joy that this season brings some of us tend to try to rush through it and not enjoy it.
I have fallen in the endless pit of making everything perfect instead of enjoying each moment we have with family and friends. Enjoy the little things! No gift or toy will ever replace those cherished moments with family. Give back to those who are less fortunate. Let us remind them that we care about them always. There are so many things we can all do to make the most of what we have. We just have to see it as blessings and blessing onto others.
Let us finish this year with loving one another and enjoying Gods gift! đ
Self-Love
As I watch youtube, facebook, and any other social media it’s come to my attention lately of women doing outrageous lifestyle changes to “fit in” with society. We look at magazines and see flawless women on every cover. No imperfections, looking perfect. I think we all go through a stage when we just want to fit into what society wants us to look like. Being a certain size. Having flawless skin. The perfect hair even. I went through that stage and eventually grew out of it. During that part of my life I felt everything but happy. It was hard just to fit in. Being bi-racial I couldn’t just pick a “group” to hang out with.Â
Over time we learn to hate our imperfections and how to hide them as much as possible. We learn to hate ourselves instead of loving ourselves and it’s a long way back to self love once you break down your self down that far.Â
Love your imperfections. Love who you are. Love yourself. Nothing and no one in this lifetime can take that from you. There is only one of you that is your superpower. Do not hide what makes you, you. You are perfect in your own right. You may not look like a Victoria Secret model but that’s ok. You may not have the flawless skin or hair and again that’s ok. You are unique and have your own qualities you bring to the world. As long as you love yourself others will fall in love with that too. Show others how amazing they already are, bring them up don’t break them down. Self love will always be the best love.Â
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