Having Lupus is a neitver ending learning experience. 5 months after my divorce and endless tests I was diagnosed with Lupus. If my life wasn’t already in turmoil this was the cherry on top. The only thing I kept thinking about was why me and what did I do wrong. I kept blaming myself when in reality there was nothing I did. 

It was scarier than my divorce. I’m one of those people who tends to be afraid of the unknown. So my doctor explaining it to me was terrifying.  At the time I didn’t know how my life would change and how it would effect me. 

Living a “normal life” is difficult at times. When taking a shower becomes the enemy changes your life. Being tired is a norm no matter how many others you sleep. Your bones ache more than other people your age. It can be hard for others to relate to what you’re going through so keeping it to yoirself becomes normal too.

It I can be challenging to not let others know the pain you might be feeling. So what do we do? Do we hide? Do we lie to our loved ones that everything is ok? The answer to those questions is simply no.

One of the biggest things you can have at your side are friends and family. The support system makes a true difference. I’m blessed because I also have my boyfriend. He reminds me to back down when I’m doing too much. I’m so independent that I will tackle Every. Single. Task. With no regard to my body giving me hints to rest. 

After my divorce I was so used to doing everything on my own because I had no other choice. So letting someone else handle things has been a learning curve for me. Stubbornness I tell you! 

All in all, I’m ready for the challenges that it can bring into my life. Am I still scared? Sure I am but I’m not letting it take over my life and stop me from living. One good day can end up leading to 3 bad days. Yet, every single day is worth fighting for.