After taking a break for a month or so I’ve never felt so alive yet also feeling so lost. Such a crazy combination when you think about it. My life has been been the greatest it has been in years and the happiest. Yet, apart of me is still struggling to realize that I deserve every inch of God’s grace he’s given me. I’ve put my heart back together and continued to do so when I cut myself in the process. Coming so far yet feeling like no strides have been made. Like more should of been done in that time, feeling defeated when in actuality we won that phase of our lives. I survived such hell and survived domestic violence yet at times I still act like a victim.
Why do we put ourselves down when we have no true reason to?
It leads too others seeing our true soul and sometimes it’s something we don’t want others to see. We’re so vulnerable in this state we can’t hide what is eating us on the inside. Then reality hits us, do we love ourselves? Truly love ourselves? We often say of course we do I’m happy and then after the “but” starts.
Do we love ourselves enough accept where we are in life and what we survived from our past? Better question, can we?
We’re warriors, when we fall we get up stronger. When I look the the scars on my skin it’s a beautiful reminder that I didn’t give in. I have kept the hope alive and found the strength inside to continue. We all have. Yet, the struggles will remain. That’s when a choice comes into play, do we give up or so we continue to fight?
Always continue to fight. When you’re tired, fight. When darkness closes in, fight to see the light. The outcome will always be worth the fight. Accept the fact that you made it through. Accept the scars you were dealt with. They’re battle scars, a reminder you made it through. Be your own sunshine, your reason to take that first breath in the morning.
Keep the hope alive!