So something happened today that I couldn’t help but share with you. Have you ever been disappointed at joy that felt like it was stolen from you? Like it was turn from you when you wished for it so?
This happened to me today. I thought for the better half of October that there was a possibility that I could be pregnant. The thought of it for my boyfriend and I brought us nothing but joy. So why not be excited about the thought of a little blessing. To my dismay, we aren’t. I felt angry, sad, and just about every other emotion out there you could think of. Why? Why was that little piece of joy taken from us? I was at a point where I didn’t want to think and I may never understand how my broken heart is apart of God’s plan.
So instead of feeding into the emotions too much I had to go outside and just breathe and listen. Listen to the quiet, so the quiet can calm my sadness and calm my heart. I now understand that it is simply not our time yet. Patience isn’t my strong suit in life but I know I can’t rush this in our life. I don’t blame myself, my love, or God.
Waiting for that positive sign on a pregnancy test can be the most heartbreaking feeling a woman can go through. The longest 30 seconds of a wait, the most excitement you will ever feel, or the most sadness you may experience. When you try and try and try with no results happening it can lead you to a bottomless pit. As I tear up from writing this I also feel strength from it. I just have to remember you’re God and I am not.
So I tell you this, don’t let the results get you down. When that positive sign happens to show up, embrace that blessing and share that with your spouse. If the results aren’t positive do not let that weaken your faith. Keep the faith. Keep the love between your spouse going. Keep hope in your heart.
Keep trying and always know you’re not alone in this journey.